EEjack's Dog House

Welcome to my pages on dogs.
This is the beginning of a collection of stories and anecdotes about man's best friend.

If you have anything you think should be added please feel free to let me know, and please include credit where credit is do.

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Edward Abbey

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave Barry

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would have thought of that!".
Dave Barry

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
Smiley Blanton

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
Dereke Bruce

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler

The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.
Danish Proverb

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.
Nora Ephron

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
Anatole France

The more I see of men, the better I like my dog
Frederick the Great

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
Michael Friedman

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies.
Gene Hill

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
Holbrook Jackson

A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved.
Aaron Katcher

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers

If you would invest in friendship, purchase a dog.
Le Baron Cooke

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz

I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
Abraham Lincoln

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Christopher Morley

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
Penny Ward Moser

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andrew A. Rooney

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.
Rita Rudner

For though he had very little Latin beyond, "Cave canem," he had, as a young dog, devoured Shakespeare (in a tasty leather binding).
Dodie Smith

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
John Steinbeck

I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.
John Steinbeck

Charley was born on the outskirts of Paris and trained in France, and while he knows a little poodle-English, he responds quickly only to commands in French. Otherwise he has to translate, and that slows him down.
John Steinbeck

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
August Strindberg

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
James Thurber

God created man; then seeing how weak he was, gave him the dog.

Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler

In dog years I'm dead.

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail..

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Bern Williams

I cannot impress on my readers too strongly the necessity to be firm but kind to a puppy. His idea of your authority is forming, and if he knows you give in on the slightest whimper, you are wacked for life.
Barbara Woodhouse

Dog story
Eulogy of a dog
What not to name your dog (humor)
Office Help (humor)
Dog Property Laws (humor)
A Dog's Plea

Pages by EEjack